I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
