We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
