Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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