so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
