I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
