I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you never un-have a 4some
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
