New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
