hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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