And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you never un-have a 4some
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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