I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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