Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
