Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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