Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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