i jhust puked up my retainher.
You work out of a Hotel?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
