dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
