Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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