hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
