I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
