Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
