ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
