Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
