winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
