You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
