idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
