i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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