I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
