Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
