Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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