but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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