are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
