hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
