She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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