Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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