you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
