And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize