Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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