Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
