I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
