I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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