so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
