She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
