i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
