its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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