Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
