Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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