i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
