Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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