So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
