I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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