i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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